Islamic Institute of Boston

Abstract

Acknowledgments

Dedication

Introduction

Objective

Islam and Muslims in America

Chapter 1:� Marriage among American Muslims

Part One: A Definition of Marriage

1. Marriage in General

2. Marriage and Religion

Part Two: The Marriage Contract (aqd): Islam and the American Law

Part Three: Traditional Marriage Among American Muslims

1. Selection of Spouse

2. Dating Among American Muslims

3. Family Role in the Settlement of Marriage

4. The Role of the Imam

Part Four: The Mahr (dower)

1. What is the mahr?

2. How does the mahr work?

3. What is the mu'ajjal?

4. What is the mu'akhar?

5. Why mahr is settled before the marriage

Part Five: The Marriage and Wedding Ceremony

1. The sīgha of the marriage ceremony

2. The Conditions (shurūt)

3. Setup of Islamic Weddings

Part Six: The Interfaith marriage

1. Recognized Interfaith Marriage

2. Unrecognized Interfaith Marriage

Conclusion

Chapter 2:� Polygamy among American Muslims

Part One

1. Polygamy Defined

2. Historical Background

Part Two: Islam and Polygamy

1. Polygamy in Classical Muslim Law

2. Polygamy: My Personal Interpretation

Part Three: Polygamy in America

Part Four: American Muslims and Polygamy

1. Equal Treatment of Wives is Incompatible with American Laws

2. Muslims Must Obey the Law of the Land Where they Live

3. Polygamy is Often Unspoken Due to Fear of Social Condemnation or Legal Consequences

Part Five: How American Muslims View Polygamy

1. Those Who Do Not Practice Polygamy But Accept its Islamic Theory

2. Acceptance of Islam But Rejection of Polygamy

3. The Views of Al-Hibri on Polygamy.

My Response to Al-Hibri�s Views on Polygamy

4. Practicing Polygamy as a Solution to Some Social Problems

Part Six: Addressing Polygamy with American Muslim Youths

Part Seven: Polygamy among African American Muslims

Conclusion

Chapter 3: Marital Discord Among American Muslims

Part One: Impact of Gender Equity on American Muslim Couples

Part Two: American Muslim Woman as a Wife and as a Member of Society

Part Three: Resolving Marital Discord Among American Muslims

1. Housewife Situation

2. Problems with In-Laws and Relatives

3. Husband and Wife Both Studying

4. Growing Apart, Especially After Having Children

5. Husband with Elderly Parents Overseas

6. Having Unreasonably High Expectations

7. Husband Controlling His Wife

Part Four: Role of Mediation and Arbitration in Resolving Marital Disputes

1. The Role of Mediation

2. The Role of Arbitration

Part Five: Marriage Counselors and Marital Discords

Part Six: Can Islamic Centers and Imams Help in Resolving Marital Disputes?

Conclusion

Chapter 4: Marital Violence Among American Muslims

Part One: Statistics on Marital Violence

1. Statistics on Marital Violence in the General US Population

2. Statistics on Marital Violence in the Muslim Community

Part Two: Effects of Marital Violence

1. Effects on Muslim Women

A. Mental/Emotional Abuse

B. Physical Abuse.

C. Sexual Abuse

2. Effects on Muslim Children

Part Three: Why Marital Violence Occurs in the Muslim Community

1. Cycle of Abuse

2. Changes in Gender Roles

3. Cultural Reasons

4. Isolation of the Wife

5. Financial and Social Dependency

6. Wife�s Denial and Concern for Break up of Marriage

7. The Acceptance of Destiny

Part Four: Marital Violence is not an Islamic Tradition

1. Wife Abuse is not in the Qur�ān: Analyzing Verse 4:34

A) Clarifying the meaning of nushūz

B) Clarifying the meaning of wa-adrebuhunna (and beat them)

2. Wife Abuse is not in the Sunnah

Part Five: Why there is Little Help for Abused Muslim Wives

1. Marital Violence Resulting in the Wife�s Death

2. Lack of Awareness among Muslims

3. Lack of Trained Imams

Part Six: The Role of the American Muslim Community in Marital Violence

1. Role of Islamic Centers

2. Role of the Imams

Part Seven: Establishing Shelters for Abused Wives

Conclusion

Chapter 5: Divorce among American Muslims: Problems and Responses

Part One: A Definition of Divorce

1. Divorce in General

2. Divorce in the United States of America

3. Divorce and Religion

4. Jewish Law on Divorce

5. Divorce from an Islamic Perspective

Part Two: Reasons for Divorce among American Muslims

1. Extra-marital affairs

2. Dishonesty

3. Sexual dysfunction

4. Apostasy

5. Cultural differences

Part Three: Civil Divorce vs. Islamic Divorce: Modern Dilemmas and Challenges Confronting American Muslims

Part Four: In our Backyard: The Abuse of Islamic Talāq in the Name of Islam

Part Five: The Effect of Talāq Abuse on American Muslim Women

Part Six: Talāq Abuse: Is it a Flaw of Islamic Law or a Social Disease?

The Ethics of Divorce

Part Seven: Types of Talāq Abuse

1. Divorcing the Wife in Abusive Ways

2. Withholding the Divorce in Abusive Ways

Part Eight: Can an Islamic Divorce Complement a Civil Divorce

1. Islamic Divorce Taking Place before the Civil Process

2. Islamic Divorce Negotiated after the Judicial Process

Part Ten: Accommodating Islamic and Jewish Family Laws in the American Judicial System: A Comparative Analysis of Talāq and Get in Divorce Proceedings

Conclusion

Chapter 6:� Custody of Children Among American Muslims

Part One: Custody of Children from Islamic and American Perspectives

Part Two: Custody Among American Muslim Couples

Part Three: Reflections on Intermarriages and Custody of Children

1. Custody of Children of Intermarriage from the perspective of Islamic law

2. Custody of Children of Intermarriage from the perspective of American law

Conclusion

Chapter 7: Conflicts and Possible Solutions

Part 1: The Prenuptial Agreement

(A): A Practical Solution for a Successful Interfaith Marriage.

(B): A practical solution for Muslim couples.

Part Two: The Conflict of Mahr

(A) The first Approach:

(B) The Second Approach: Mahr has secular elements.

Part 3: The Conflict of Talāq Abuse.

Part Four: The Sharī�ah Court

Appendices

Appendix 1: The Talmud

Appendix 2: The Sunnah (Prophetic Tradition and Canonical law)

Appendix 3: Sharī�ah (Islamic sacred law)

Appendix 4: Mahram (Blood relationship)

Appendix 5: Mut�ah (Temporary) marriage.

Appendix 6: Text of the fatwā of Shaikh Ibn Bāz

Appendix 7:� The Li��n Divorce (Double Testimony).

Appendix 8: The Full Story

Appendix 9: List of Organizations

Appendix 10: A copy of my statement

Appendix 11: A copy of my letter

Appendix 12: �ismah

Bibliography